Monday, December 29, 2008

Help! Help!

I'm really starting to fall in love with you.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

10/12/08 To Date...

These past few days have been the most amazing.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I work till I ache my bones

YOU CALLED! YOU CALLED!
I can't stop blushing and shaking!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Urgent Calls

The moment she told me the good news, my knees began to shake.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Early December

The best nights spent are the ones where your Vodka tastes like water, your voice sounds so smooth and the guitar makes you forget about all your problems.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Poo Glue

Vacations were never really a good thing; You learn what you really missed.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Sidewalk He walks.

I have so many things to say to you...
But I just can't find the right words.
Well here it goes...

24hours till flight.

I'm so excited, but scared to do this.
I've never taken a random trip before,
Alone...

Monday, November 17, 2008

13 Long Hours

This feeling is giving me the shakes.
I don't want to let myself fall into you.
I'm so scared, I want to block you out.
But part of me won't let that happen.
I have to much hope.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Polar Ice Guy

I have this crush, on this guy.
He doesn't know it...
But everytime I see him, my heart beats faster.
I hope his smile doesn't lie.
This is so horribly highschool.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Tiny little spots.

Everyday I hate you that little bit more. Zeke understands.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I miss you so much.

Now Highways turn to tidal waves;
They're asking me to export all your insecurities.
But that wind that blows across your room
It's going to set the sails;
And send me back to you.
Please.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Halloween.

I've done some pretty stupid shit, but apparently nothing compare to you.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A week and Two days

Home is so close. I can't wait. I miss you all so much.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

In a newyork minute...

baby I've changed, please come back

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Magnetic Words

did we entwine to escape?

Friday, October 3, 2008

Already Counting...

I love this month. I love its fall weather. I love Halloween. This is better then Christmas. I also love little pigs in pumpkins.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

C & R

I had a dream last night that we loved eachother enough to have relations. All sorts of relations. I would have never thought of you like that before, because of her. Silly me, then there was you, who I also had relations with. We were so loving. Yet you also have a better half. I guess I'll always want what I can't have.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Who's going to...

Darling, I do believe we've lost eachother.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I hate Starbucks but...

Pumpkin Spiced Latte's are my love.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Monday, August 25, 2008

Facebook: Good or Bad?

The other day I was being a FB snoop, and found out a guy I used to adore had a girlfriend. This crushed me. I'm not really sure why, because we never kept in touch after it went downhill.

But then tonight, one of his friends mentioned to me that he was dating. I pretended I didn't care and played it off really cool.

Which brings me to think, if we're all snooping on Facebook are we setting ourselves up for heartbreaks, or are we really getting a head start on those awkward questions we usually take another drink over.

How Strange?

Last nigh I drempt...
That you picked me a sunflower from a garden.
You picked it so deep, it had the root attached.

And we tried to get playful in the middle of a street.
We layed down there and you licked my shoe while
an Officer pulled up and told us to break it up.

Then at some point during this dream,
I was locked in a colorful room, the floor a shallow pool.
And I was looking for a peircing bead, for my industrial.

Then finally we were on a couch outside of a little gas station in my home town.
We had sexual relations, atleast I was told we were having them.
And when we finished, I gagged and threw up the contents of my mouth.
Oddly, I don't even want to write what those contents were...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

You coulda been anyone else

Why do I always let myself get hurt,
Over something I wish was real?

Friday, August 8, 2008

Lucky Number 8

For Once In Our Lives, It felt Perfect between us.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

look how pretty she is, when she falls down.

I don't understand you, or you and I don't trust you.

I don't understand you because you always know when I've messed up.
And you always know when to step in, and put in two cents.

And I don't understand you because you're so fake.
You lie, you're not real, you're just a shell of something.

And I don't trust you because you're far to close.
You say a few things that freak me out.
And I may like it?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:39 pm

Tonight, I'm not sure if I should cry.
I mean, is it really worth crying over spilt milk.
I've drank a bottle of wine and
smoked half a pack of cigarettes because of you.
I don't know how
to make things right, okay?
I tried my best.
I wanted to be your friend.
I didn't want you out of my life.
But you said goodbye.
And then I said goodbye,
and you erased me from your life.
As if nothing happened.
And now I'm holding back tears,
and they'll soon be running down my face.
It hurts more to hold them back
but I keep thinking if I don't cry them
that I'll be strong.
That I shouldn't cry
because I don't even know if you're worth it.
But if I do cry, I think you've won,
and that I've made one of the
biggest mistakes of my life.
Maybe I did love you.
Maybe right now i wasn't ready
and maybe one day I will be.
Or maybe I'll just stay this mess
you erased forever.
I just wish it didn't end tonight.
Not like this.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Young Girl.Just Hold Tight.

Maybe I never attempted Suicide
Because I was to busy stopping you.
And just look where that got us...

Saturday, July 19, 2008

I'm Sorry...But

Your comments made me want to vomit. I'm so fucking disgusted by your conclusions.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

And that makes 4...

Can someone please tell me why having children is such a fucking growing fad.
Is it that hard to keep yourself protected these days?
Really is it?!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Hmm...

So, I just walked out on dinner with my parents
I don't feel half bad

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

RadioForHelp - Don't Flatter Yourself

i know that you deserve better
what did i do
to deserve this?
i'm sorry, i'm sorry
you know that i'm sorry
this time your eyes caught me off guard
and you've only got one shot to make things alright
so let's get this over with...

just one last time
tell me that you're coming home
oh, i know that you're not coming home tonight
(tonight) i want you here
(i want you here) i want you to know that i'm not alright

it seems like you've been gone forever
but forever not long enough to me
"i'm sorry"
"don't say say sorry, for what?"
don't flatter yourself
i know you're beautiful but there's so much more, my miss

just one last time
tell me that you're coming home
oh, i know that you're not coming home tonight
(tonight) i want you here
(i want you here) i want you to know that i'm not alright

i wish we could just get over this
but i just dont know how to make you see
"i'm sorry
"but are we really?
no.
we've been here before
i know you're still upset but i just want to make this right

just one last time
tell me that you're coming home
oh, i know that you're not coming home tonight
(tonight) i want you here
(i want you here) i want you to know that i'm not alright

how do i get it through to you
when it always seems like we're on different pages
of the same wonderful book?
don't know where to start this,
all i want is for this to end and for you
to be here beside me
this constant thinking about it is driving me insane
sometimes i think that i am like your worst enemy
i might know
that i
will get over you...

EyesWideShut

Photobucket

When she said, "I didn't know relationships were supposed to be this fun." I cried. I cried so much because I didn't understand how I could have missed that concept, it's so simple. So simple that it brings me to tears thinking about it. How did I miss that, How?

iohsjdgfhsk

Fuck being home sick.
Fuck crying all these tears.
Fuck trying to be someone you're not.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

91m 18s

Show me your Porn Star Face. Ya thats the one, Like Tom DeLong....riiight... Ha, The things mommy and daddy do.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Don't let me down

This is not how I want to feel. This is how we should not act.
This makes it so much harder to end the fight.
I've never wanted to lose so badly.

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool.
By making his world a little colder

Friday, June 6, 2008

She forgets.

I feel lost.
I'm not myself.
Excuse me, My hair straightener is on.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Mr.Wrong

Why did I read it again.
Gosh, this makes me sick.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Foreshadow, For Shame

I'm going to hurt you,
I'm going to hurt you,
I'm going to hurt you.
I'm going to break your heart.

I'm going to hurt you,
I'm going to hurt you,
I'm going to hurt you.
Please don't be mad.

I'm going to hurt you,
I'm going to hurt you,
I'm going to hurt you.
I really hate myself.

For the things I do to you.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Oh Fruit Loops!

You really friggen suck.

Monday, May 12, 2008

what kind of word is figures?

Figures,
The one that feels the worst: Looks the best

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

You make me feel...

"I realized I loved you when you said you'd take the LRT to see me"

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

At the cemetery gates, In the dress your husband hates.

I'm not a brilliant writter, I know that. You're not a perfect love.
It just breaks my heart that the things that matter most are unreliable.
Our concept of the perfect world is a mess, during life.

Today, I noticed that maybe we should stop talking and just listen.
Listen to our bodies, to our hearts, to the world around us.

I saw the most heart breaking things today.
I was walking through the cemetery to think. It was calm, I was calm.
It was just me and the silence of the world around.
It was like having new breath into your body.
Among me, fallen soilders, fathers, mothers, lovers, family and children.
Children being put in the ground broke me from my thoughts.
It was hard to imagin just the thought of what it would be like to do this.

I have no words for my feeling...it was one of the worst I've felt.
I walked away and took another trail, following a car this time up a path.The Car stopped.
I stopped.
An older lady got out of the car, she saw me. I saw her.
We both had that same look on our faces as she turned away and began walking across the ground.
I felt rude to watch,but I couldn't look away.

I watched her say a prayer for the site infront of her. Her heart still feeling love for the one below.
I cried.I cried a lot.
I felt for the woman infront of me.
I felt a release being here in this moment and time seeing this.

I feel as if I needed this afternoon realization about the world, how it can defeat you and put you away. But you can overcome it.
Someone will always love you.Someone will always be there.
Don't give up Zosia. You can do this.
Its not over yet.
"...And then she said she can't believe, genius only comes along in storms of
fabled foreign tongues tripping eyes, and flooded lungs. Northern downpour sends its love"

Fuck Foreplay!

A message from a boy:
-via text-

I would thrust your box off.

Brilliant? Ha.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Dizzy

I'm so fucking worried.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

What a view!

YA! $250.00 Later, and we await the acceptance to our new place. Please let this happen..PLEASE!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Unbalanced.

I don't get it.
Case #1
You're depressed and don't want to talk about it.
You run from your problems.
You won't let me help.
This feels out of my nature.

Case #2
You're happy. You miss me. You made me feel amazing.

I'm unbalanced because this is backwards from what it should be.


WTF, MATE?!

Does this look infected..

Thaaaats right, days ago I took out four peices of me that we're extra pressure in my life I didn't need! Now if only all problems were this easy to cure!
I think I'm going to make a necklace...

Friday, March 21, 2008

Going Going Gone...

YAY! I can hardly wait to spend time at home with my family for a whole week!
Ya Hinton! I kinda heart you!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Nervous Business

...You Don't Even Wanna Know...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

This is how you smile, when you're heartless

Take One: The Heartless Pair, Joel and Zosia
(Inbetween conversation)
Joel: Sup Heartless Girl
Zosia: Sup Heartless Boy, betcha I'll make you smile
Joel:Betcha won't. I don't smile
Take Two:*Zosia makes faces, Joel smiles*
Zosia: I win, you have a heart.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Something Corporate

FUCK.
(I don't know what I want.)
p.s. My heart hurts again.
p.p.s This song reminds me of us, I hate it.
p.p.p.s. I love the band though.

To those who may not know the song...

I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
and I don't understand all the things you've seen
but I'm slipping in between
You and your big dreams
It's always you
In my big dreams
And you tell me that its over
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers
and your restless
and im naked
you gotta get out
you cant stand to see me shakin
no
could u let me go?
i didnt think so
and you dont wanna be here in the future
so you say the presants just a pleasant interuption to the past
and you dont wanna look much closer
cause ur afriad to find out all this hope
you had sent into the sky by now had
crashed
and it did
because of me

and then you bring me home
afraid to find out that your alone oh
and im sleeping in your living room
but we dont have much room to live

and i had these dreams in them i learned to play guitar
maybe cross the country
become a rock star
and there was hope in me that I could take you there
but damnit you're so young
well i dont think i care
and if i hurt you
then im sorry please dont think that this was easy

and then you bring me home
cause we both know what its like to be alone oh
and im dreaming in your living room
but we dont have much room to live

and konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesnt she look good
standing in her underware
and i was thinking
what i was thinkin
we've been drinkin and it doesnt get me anywhere
my konstantine came walking down the stairs
and all that i could do was touch her long blond hair
and ive been thinkin
but it hurts me thinking
that these nights when we were drinking
no they never got us anywhere
no

this is because i can spell confusion with a 'K'
and i can like it
its to dying in anothers arms
and why i had to try it
its to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car
when the first star you see
may not be a star
im not your star
isnt that what you said
what you thought this song meant

and if this is what it takes
just to lye with my mistakes
and live with what i did to you
all the hell i put you through
i always catch the clock
its 11:11
now you wanna talk
its not hard to dream
you'll always be my konstantine
my konstantine
they'll never hurt you like i do
no they'll never hurt you like i do
no,no,no, no, no, no, no, no

this is to a girl
who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
hey
ya know
you keep me up in bed
this is to a girl
who got into my head
with all these fucked up things i did
hey
maybe
baby you could keep me up in bed
my konstanine

you spin around me like a dream
we played out on this movie screen
and i said
did u know i missed you
i miss you

and then you bring me home
and we go to sleep
but this time not alone
and i know
and you'll kiss me in your living room
i know i know
you miss me in your living room
cuz these nights i think
maybe that i miss you in my living room
but we dont have much room
i said does anybody need that room
because we all need a little more room
to live

my konstantine...

Friday, March 14, 2008

Heh Creep.

Being Bored was never so much fun.
Heart Heart Heart

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

1408

It's 1:30am on March 12th 2008. . . Did it really take you 4 months to take attraction to me??
You are so not worth the $15.00 I spent on a late fee at BlockBuster.